Tuesday, May 25, 2010

why wait

Too Soon?

I think especially in relationships, we (collective) have a general anxiety about moving too fast, doing things too soon. "Too soon" according to... Statistics? Experts? Parents? Religion? Sometimes it's our instincts that tell us to wait (instincts = good.), but sometimes the waiting is based on preconceived notions we develop based on other sources (not always good)...

But for me and Daniel it has always been "why wait" -- These two words came up a few times during our 2+ month courtship with regards to things like how long until it was ok to call or text again, how long before meeting the parents, saying I love you, talking about marriage, etc. I'm pretty sure those two words might have come up during Daniel's hour-long conversation with my parents asking for their permission to marry me. Maybe something about 'after 29 years of waiting for the right woman, "why wait" to put a ring on her finger.'

The momentum of our relationship, the instincts, were unmistakable. Why wait to get engaged? 2 months might be "too soon" for some couples to get engaged, but it certainly wasn't for us. We were, without a doubt, ready to be fianc├ęs (said with a cheesy French accent).

Now enter wedding planning. Picking a wedding date.

There was talk of a short engagement, perhaps a wedding late this summer or early this fall. If love and excitement between the two of us were the only ingredients for marriage, we'd plan a wedding for this weekend. Shoot, we might already have eloped by now.

But on the topic of when to get married, all things considered there might be some real solid answers to the "why wait?" question. Sometimes advice from the aforementioned sources (experts, statistics, parents, religion) are worth heeding. At least so says my instincts. They protect us from impulsiveness, haste, missing the forest for the trees. A.k.a. Beyond party planning, there is the real important stuff -- marriage preparation. Prudence, patience, meticulousness. Respecting the healthy reality that it takes a sensible amount of time to arrive at the point where you are good and ready to share a home, a life, a family, with another individual.

So all that said, plus some other logistical reasons, we've set a date... we'll be getting married next March. Exactly one year and a day after our first date (how cute is that? we booked the chapel today!). Ten months seems so far away! But I'm told it will go by ridiculously fast, and I know it will be well worth waiting. And as for all the other instances of "waiting"... the countdown is on.

wedding websites

yep... we're getting married!

It's true... It's been three days since Daniel asked me to marry him and I still get excited (almost startled) when I glance down at my left hand and catch a glimpse of the glittering beauty on my fourth finger. It's all so surreal and so wonderful.

These last few days have been all about making phone calls and making plans. About being excited and being in love. And they've been about starting to scratch the surface of completely reframing my life over the next year.

A wedding. Moving. Doubling my extended family. Coming home to the man that I love. Learning to share my life with someone. Learning to love and communicate better every day. Perhaps learning how to cook. Perhaps giving my parents some grandchildren.

I'm going to be a wife. We're really doing this.

I promise a lengthy account of the proposal story, more pictures, and pithy anecdotes about wedding planning... stay tuned.
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