Stay
Hours and hours I spent in my dorm rooms playing, practicing, trying until my fingers almost bled. Learning guitar, running from everything else. My poor roommates -- hours and hours I played. Boys failed me, so I turned to music -- one of the only things I knew I could count on, a constant in my life.
The guitar riff. Everyone recognizes it. Lyrics. "You say I only hear what I want to..." This song I learned perfectly, and sang it just like her, you know, the girl with the glasses from the end of that movie. I only performed it a couple of times, mostly because I was too shy to sing in public, mostly because I wasn't that good.
Once a boy told me I sounded amazing, singing that song. That ego boost, acceptance, lasted a little while. It would take years for me not to need a boy for self esteem. Years and phases.
Now my fingers can hardly manage guitar chords, but they change diapers quite well. Now I sing lullabies. Now no more boys, just one man. So much has changed, grown, since "Stay," but a song like that always brings a memory.
[time's up!]
Julie, I can so relate to this post, your journey through needing acceptance from boys, settling down into being a wife and mother and all of the deep, life-changing lessons along the way. Well done! Amazing how much one small word can conjure up in our minds and hearts, isn't it? Have a wonderful day!!
ReplyDeleteA great look into an appreciated past. May God continue to bless those fingers as they love on your children...and bless your husband to be the source of encouraging words as you sing your mother song..:)
ReplyDeleteHad to come take a peek to see what's behind that beautiful smile...a beautiful heart! Growing wiser and listening. Keep singing that song and stay close to His heart.
ReplyDeleteI want to hear the song!!!! PLEASE (insert best pleading face with folded hands)
ReplyDeletebtw- awesome post. seriously.
I honestly don't think I could get through more than the first verse! My fingers are so out of guitar shape. But I'll try some time! You're the best.
DeleteHi! Visiting from 5MF.
ReplyDeleteI love this. Short, to the point and thoughtful. I relate to the stuff about the boys very well!!
I'm following your blog now. :) Happy reading.