Mommy in the Middle

Hours of nighttime wakefulness were common for me when PJ was a newborn and didn't know her nights from days.  Now she sleeps solid chunks at a time with very short periods of wakefulness in between.  She's a "good" sleeper.

Yet, tonight marks the second night in a row that I've been awake more than asleep.  Why am I up so much?
I'm afraid to move.  

I lie here stiff, moving my arms only enough to tap tap tap on my iPhone, using the Blogger app to draft this post.  On one side of the bed, there's a baby who has just outgrown her nest and loves to squirm and sprawl.  She must maintain a certain distance from the edge and from any pillows, so her mattress real-estate is a larger plot than one would expect for a twelve-pound human being.  On the other side, there's a six foot six man bundled up in multiple blankets, already pushed so far toward his edge of the bed its a wonder he doesn't roll off.

And in the middle, there's me.  

I'm so alert not to elbow the little one in the head or knee the big one in the back.   When I do doze off it's only a doze and it's only temporary.  But she, she is still too small to cuddle safely amongst the pillows and blankets.  And me, I'm not ready to move her to her crib.   And he, he MUST get a good night's sleep, the man works longer hours than I.   We three in a bed.  Ahh my insomnia!

People told me when I was pregnant that I would never enjoy the same careless deep sleep.  Can this be true?  Never??

our little sleeping bed hog