Little Victories
Since we left the hospital, our first week and a half as
parents has been a series of little milestones and victories.
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| VICTORY!! |
1. The most emotional victory for me was being able to lay down
all the way flat. This may seem
small, but this milestone in my recovery from surgery meant I was able to leave
the chaise lounge in the living room and rejoin my husband in our cozy bed. There was something about sleeping
all by myself in the hospital bed and out on the couch that made me feel like a
part of me was missing. I cried (a ridiculous amount) tears of joy the night Penny and I joined Dan and the dogs in the
master bedroom of our home.
2. In the first few days of her life, Penny lost a normal
amount of weight and got down to 4 lbs 15 oz. After that it was time to get serious about putting some fat
on her, and time for me to “feed, feed, feed!” (to quote our pediatrician). And feed I did, and eat she did. Another huge victory came at our
pediatrician’s office when Penny was 11 days old and she weighed in at a strong
5 lbs 8 oz… just above her birth weight.
3. Dan’s favorite little milestone was Penny Jane’s first ray of morning sunshine which she shared with him on our porch when she was 5 days old.
Honorable mentions in the milestones category: Penny’s
umbilical cord fell off, she went on her first stroller ride, had her first (and
second) manicure, took her first bath at home, and visited the homes of both sets of Arizona Grandparents.
The Profundity of
Having a Child
Having children is something most girls dream about and
practice for their whole life. I
know I did. Playing “house” as a
kid and then M.A.S.H. as a tween.
Even when my little sister was born (I was ten) I wanted to help with
everything and hold her and play with her as much as possible.
Motherhood has been calling me for as long as I can
remember. I couldn’t wait to have
kids. I even think one of my
college entrance essays was about having children. My hypothetical children had hypothetical names and faces
and futures… Not in a creepy way. It was just that the certainty that someday I would
be a mom was always present in the back of my mind.
Now I have a child… and it’s nothing that I could have ever
prepared for or dreamed up in some hypothetical fantasy.
I suppose the same goes for getting married. When Daniel and I were newlyweds, I
remember thinking how profoundly different “getting married” was than I always
thought it would be. As girls and young women, I think a lot
of us spend an unfortunate amount of time preoccupied with boys / the search
for a husband, like we are actually going to “find” him. I know I myself wasted a lot of years
fixated on being with “the one” (until I
stopped searching, and my husband found me… but that’s another story).
But there’s no way to know what being in a marriage, or
being pregnant, or being a mom will feel like until you’re doing it. We romanticize marriage and
parenthood throughout our younger ages, without a clue that it’ll be NOTHING like the
futuristic highlight reel running through our brain… that it’ll be so much
BETTER.
Speaking of
Milestones
Maybe all this goes for all the big milestones in life. We romanticize some, we dread others,
but they all come. I have
been reflecting on this a lot this week as I watch my tiny baby grow and change
a little bit every day, while also following Facebook posts of family of
friends’ children going to their first days of kindergarten, high school,
leaving for college, getting married, having babies...
I cannot quite wrap my arms around the concept that our
little monkey will some day do all of these things too. But I can get pretty close, as my
family faced another huge milestone this month (other than Penny’s birth!)
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| Saying 'Bye For Now' to Aunt Leslie |
My baby sister left for college today.
We said goodbye last night at my folks’ house, which also
marked our first dinner outing as a little family-of-five (yep, dogs came too). Then this morning my mom and dad drove her
away from their house with a packed Ford Expedition, en route to Tucson.
Even as I type the words… my baby sister left for college today… it still doesn’t feel
real. As I said before, I
was 10-years-old when Leslie was born. I
remember her first day of kindergarten, teaching her how to shave her legs, her
maid of honor speech at my wedding, how excited she was when I told her I was
pregnant. And so much in between.
I am so incredibly proud of my sister, and I am so excited for my her, but I already miss her
terribly and I can’t believe she doesn’t live twenty minutes away from us
anymore. It’s been a very
emotional day for me. I’ve
been trying to keep it together and not steal the moment from my parents who
are entitled to shed more tears than me… I will have my day to sob about MY
baby going off to college in eighteen years!
And such are the milestones of life.
