Monday, August 26, 2013

Fantasy Football Survival Guide [for the ladies in their lives]

One year of dating and 2+ years of marriage means I have survived three seasons of my man being involved in fantasy football leagues. All-Out fantasy football leagues. The draft night. The commissioner. The prizes. The trash talk. The Thursday night "I have to do something on the computer for two hours" lineup ritual. The constantly checking his phone all day every Sunday.

And my husband doesn't even like football. 

Whether we like it or not, ladies, football season is here.  This phenomenon in masculine competitive couch-potato-ness has all the components to annoy the gals in their lives in every way possible... But it doesn't have to put a damper on our relationships.  We just need to have a survival plan. 

1. Ask him to set aside a specific time to do whatever he needs to do on the computer.  This way you won't be surprised every week, he doesn't have to hide it or sneak it, and you can go do something else during that time.  Nobody wins if you hover while he's trying to do his lineup for the week.  Nobody has fun if every move he makes becomes a battle with you.

2. Sunday Safe Word.  Game days can be the worst for fantasy football wives.  Talk to your husband about how it makes you feel when he's cross-eyed at his smartphone all through church or family dinner.  Develop a safe word that you can say to him that means "put down the iPhone or I'm going to lose my flipping mind" and it won't make a scene in front of other people -- but only use it in dire emergencies.  

3. Get involved, to the extent that you can.  There are ladies out there who actively participate in fantasy leagues -- you gals are way cooler than me.  For those of you who, like me, have no interest in being in a league (or aren't invited!) you could do something fun with the other wives/girlfriends while the guys do their draft.  You could help him with research every week or pick one player for his team as a lucky charm.  You could offer to make snacks for all the guys for their gathering -- as a nice gesture and show of support (maybe it will come in handy later).  

4. Be his cheerleader.  If he's going to spend that kind of time managing a fake pro sports team, he might as well do it with gusto and hopefully win some money!  Maybe you make an agreement with him that if you are super supportive along the way, you get a say in how he spends the earnings if he wins.  Sounds fair to me...

5. Be honest with yourself about how many graces he affords you. I might not speak for all of you, but my husband sure puts up with a lot of leisure time-suckers that I participate in -- writing this blog is one of them.  Our men need their guy stuff, we don't have to understand it.  Let him have this one thing.  And if his 'guy stuff' is taking over your life, or he's completely checking out of family stuff, you may have more in your relationship that needs talking about than just Fantasy Football.

Dan's 2011 FF trophy, among some of his other guy stuff.

This football season, my goal is to never utter the words "Fantasy Football is the bane of my existence."  And I admit, if I succeed, this will be the first.

Good luck ladies!

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  1. The fact that Daniel doesn't like football should indicate the power of fantasy football to self- actualize even the non-conformists. Think of it as a kind of chess or card game, where men exert their intellectual prowess in hopes of achieving greatness.

    1. Wow Justin. I never thought about it that way! Well if Dan is self-actualizing I definitely had best not interfere.


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