Tuesday October 15, 2013. I gave my two weeks notice this afternoon. A well-thought out decision, but not an easy one. Never an if, always a hypothetical when, the time would never be right, but the time was now. The pull on every fiber of my being said so.
To the left to the left...
Walking the hallways, one in several thousand people employed by this company, daily I would smile and nod at others also on their way to lunch or meetings or the factory or secret places -- some whose names I don't know or I have never worked with. We were comrades in circumstance, no matter what was going on in the business at that time. During triumphs we'd smile with teeth and maybe even wave. During layoffs or crunch time, a mere head bob would suffice, if we could muster it.
Each one of us a human being, with a story and a family and strengths and quirks and feelings.
In my eight years, I have never once felt replaceable... but really, each one of us is. I know this from earlier this year when I switched jobs and when my dad retired (although I have reason to think my dad is desperately and sorely missed, and I think people will miss me too). I replaced someone, and someone replaced me in my old role. Thus is business, it goes on.
I will be gone from this office in two weeks. Some of the relationships I've built with these wonderful wonderful people will last, but mostly what bonds me to the hundreds of comrades is my employment, my contribution.
My thoughts turn to disappearance. Being gone and the whole place continuing to run without me, like it has after the departure of so many others who left before me. We all like to think we are leaving an impression, and we probably did in some small way, on a few people -- that our contribution was important, and it probably was, for the time being. But business goes on.
I feel small, and insignificant, in a freeing way.
I'm sure it will hit me harder when I start putting all my personal things in a box to the left. Gathering the trinkets I've collected, keeping some, giving others away. The hat I'm taking off is a big big hat and I've been wearing it for a long time.
A pivotal day indeed.
I've taken a plunge into a pool I've wanted to swim in my whole life. I'll be mostly spending my days working for the only people in the world to whom I am truly irreplaceable.
Walking the hallways, one in several thousand people employed by this company, daily I would smile and nod at others also on their way to lunch or meetings or the factory or secret places -- some whose names I don't know or I have never worked with. We were comrades in circumstance, no matter what was going on in the business at that time. During triumphs we'd smile with teeth and maybe even wave. During layoffs or crunch time, a mere head bob would suffice, if we could muster it.
Each one of us a human being, with a story and a family and strengths and quirks and feelings.
In my eight years, I have never once felt replaceable... but really, each one of us is. I know this from earlier this year when I switched jobs and when my dad retired (although I have reason to think my dad is desperately and sorely missed, and I think people will miss me too). I replaced someone, and someone replaced me in my old role. Thus is business, it goes on.
I will be gone from this office in two weeks. Some of the relationships I've built with these wonderful wonderful people will last, but mostly what bonds me to the hundreds of comrades is my employment, my contribution.
My thoughts turn to disappearance. Being gone and the whole place continuing to run without me, like it has after the departure of so many others who left before me. We all like to think we are leaving an impression, and we probably did in some small way, on a few people -- that our contribution was important, and it probably was, for the time being. But business goes on.
I feel small, and insignificant, in a freeing way.
I'm sure it will hit me harder when I start putting all my personal things in a box to the left. Gathering the trinkets I've collected, keeping some, giving others away. The hat I'm taking off is a big big hat and I've been wearing it for a long time.
A pivotal day indeed.
I've taken a plunge into a pool I've wanted to swim in my whole life. I'll be mostly spending my days working for the only people in the world to whom I am truly irreplaceable.
***
separate note... there are still a few days to enter to win $50 Matilda Jane giveaway here.
And thanks for voting, below!
Wow, Julie, congratulations! Such a big change and I'm sure a scary one (or maybe not and that's how you know it's right!) but you are following what is best for you and your family. I'd love to know more about how you finally came to this decision and your thoughts on being a working outside of the home mom versus not if you ever care to share. These are things I think about a lot since becoming a full time working mom. Savor this time of anticipating the next chapter in your life!
ReplyDeleteCoffee Shop date? :)
DeleteI'm so happy for you! I remember waiting to feel missed or waiting to get a phone call form my bossing asking my opinion....It never came. Isn't there a saying about this? Not around to be missed/something about not being seen and being forgotten... (Mommy brain blocking my memory right now.) I got over that really quickly. I wasn't a part of their daily lives anymore. I wasn't having a direct impact on them. They carried on without me, all of them. On a positive note, I am making a daily/eternal impact on my daughter and our whole family. Someday I can do more. I can volunteer. I can go back to work. But right now, Annabel is all that matters. This SAHM business takes stamina. I'm more exhausted most nights than I ever was working 10-12 hours out in the "real" world.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll be missed. We may be forgotten over time, but all of your coworkers will be thrilled that you made the choice to spend more time with your family.
your decision a ways back to stay home with A inspired me at the time, that it could be done! I remember when you shared on FB. My brain has been a sea of turning-wheels since then. I think the transition will be hard for me on some days, but mostly I am just elated to have this time with my family and my household! Thanks for the encouragement!
Delete