Pouring Pouring

When it rains it pours. With my mom stuck in jury duty for three weeks, my dad still recovering from shoulder surgery, and my mother-in-law tending to a husband in the hospital (he's going to be ok, but we had quite a scare about his heart)... I've been just barely scraping by for childcare these last few business days when I am supposed to be finishing out my last few days on the job. (If you didn't read, I gave my two weeks notice last week).

This would happen when it's full and clear that Penny will. not. nap. anywhere but her own crib or a moving carseat/stroller, and she will. not. take. a. bottle. from anyone anymore... I was not about to let my last five days of work be the reason I stopped breastfeeding.

So I've been staying home in the mornings, working when she naps, and if there's enough time left in the day, sending her off to play somewhere in the afternoons and going in to the office for a couple hours.  All the coordination has been exhausting, especially with the wild card when she will wake up.

sometimes Monkey playing with my Blackberry
buys me three minutes of work

Amidst the guilt of being so absent during these final days on the job (which I do truly feel weighing on me), I can't stop thinking that this all just validates our decision that for our family, me working outside the home wasn't going to work anymore [pun intended].  At least not under the same circumstances.

I look forward to Penny spending a day with her grandparents simply because it's awesome for her to get to spend a day at her grandparents' [and maybe so I can run some errands]... and not because I have to go to the office.  Now instead of burdening them with routines and discipline consistency and naps, Dan and I get to sit back and watch our parents do what grandparents are supposed to do: play and explore and play and spoil, and babysit for fun.  What a blessing that will be.

Deep breath.  Just one more week, then bittersweet release.

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