Ma brain

It occurred to me tonight that I haven't gotten more than four hours of consecutive sleep in over a year-and-a-half.  I was entering Josie's crib room (me and the girls are away from home at my parents' cabin right now) where I found her standing at the edge of her crib, completely covered in snot and tears, begging to be held and nursed and cuddled.  Only an hour and a half after she went to bed. 

She's been sleeping only about two to three-hour stretches during the night due to teething and, well, being a horrible sleeper.  There was that one night when she was three months old that she slept for nine hours straight, but of course I woke up ten times because my boobs hurt or I was paranoid that she hadn't woken up.  

I mostly blame myself for co-sleeping too long and sleep-training too late.  I'm exhausted.   Even on the nights when I actually go to bed early (when the kids go to bed) instead of staying up to get work done, I'm still awoken a couple hours later and then every few hours after that until the next day begins.   And boo sleep training.   It wasn't this impossible with Penny.   And even if I wanted to go back to the co-sleeping attachment-parent strategy so she'd sleep longer stretches and I wouldn't have to get out of bed (which is why we co-slept so long this time), that still means terrible sleep for me because... paranoid she'll fall out of bed (again), nipple pinching and nostril clawing all night, nowhere to put my arm, baby kicks to the face...  

Haven't had a baby yet and wanna know what it's like getting up and nursing in the middle of the night? When you go to bed, set a timer to go off in two hours.  When it goes off, get up and walk two laps around your family room.  Then either lay down or sit in a rocking chair and balance a large book on your left shoulder for five minutes then your right shoulder for five minutes.  Try to relax your neck. Try not to wake your spouse.   If you can fall back asleep balancing the book on your shoulder without it falling off, more power to you, otherwise go put the book back on the shelf.  Go pee if you have to.  Set another timer for three hours, then go back to sleep.  Repeat until morning. 

Josie's almost ten months old now but the longer period of not getting good sleep traces back to my entire pregnancy with her.  I was either barfing, having hip and back pain, or had to pee in the middle of the night all 39 weeks.  It's no wonder I feel like I'm not at the top of my game at anything I'm up to these days. For reals, 18 months of bad sleep.  

Go to sleep. Yeah. I wish sleep was a place I could go, without my kids. 

Tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel?  That some day I will get to sleep again?  I'm at a point where most nights I say to myself, "what's the point in going to bed at all, she's just going to wake you up in 3...2...1..."

Penny's First Haircut

"I won't cut it until she's five," I said.  But, she was excited about it; and her baby mullet tail was getting cumbersome in ponytails, so we did it.  Daddy, me and Penny all went and got haircuts together.  She blew my mind with bravery.  I cried, she didn't.

"I wish I hadn't brought my camera and taken so many pictures of my kids and their milestones."
said no mother ever.

Ultra Hug + Huggies Ultra Diapers + My Favorite Community Charity

Hey! Huggies has a new line of diapers. Snug & Dry Ultra Diapers, exclusively sold at Walmart.  Better protection at better value.  I've tried them on Josie girl, they're swell.

With the launch of the new diapers, Huggies is also doing an awesome thing: giving away $20,000 in grants to ten community projects.   You too can participate in the #UltraHug program....

Here’s how it works:

1. Between now and June 25th, take a selfie of you and your baby.  Share it on Instagram or Twitter using the hashtag #UltraHug.  In the post, nominate a local community project in need.

2. On July 6th, Huggies will feature twenty of the nominated community projects HERE and parents can cast their vote. 

3. The top 10 photos with the most votes will each receive a $2,000 grant from Huggies towards their community projects.

Wanna get in on this? You can participate in two ways: post a selfie and nominate a community project yourself; or get in there and vote after July 6th.

My nomination:

If mine gets chosen as one of the top #UltraHug selfies, I hope you'll all get in there and vote for my cause of choice that I'm nominating: Maggie's Place, a place of shelter, care, and community for pregnant women in need.

[from the MP website:]

Maggie’s Place provides for the immediate physical and emotional needs of our guests including shelter, food, clothing, and a supportive community. In addition, Maggie’s Place connects them to the appropriate agencies and resources including prenatal care, health insurance, low-cost housing, and education programs.

Maggie's Place opened when I was fifteen, and that very first year, I was involved in a diaper drive for them at my high school when they were just starting out (I am pretty sure my high school still does the same donation drive for MP every year to this day).   It has been inspiring to see how in almost 16 years Maggie's Place has grown from one house in downtown Phoenix opening its doors to eight pregnant women, to having multiple locations where pregnant women can live and get the care and support that they need, AND a whole apartment complex where the women can transition to after their babies are born and still live in a community of support as they figure out this parenting thing.  Maggie's Place has helped over 600 women.  Over SIX HUNDRED pregnant women in need.   That's a lot of mamas and babies to live within those walls. :)    Isn't that wonderful?  

If you'd like to support Maggie's Place on your own accord, please visit their donation's page or their FAQ's page.   

And keep an eye out for lots of cute selfies of mamas and babies on social media as a part of the Huggies Ultra Hug campaign!    Thanks for reading :)