My life over the last year has been full and amazing. But... if we're being vulnerable here, age 31 was a tough for me, on a strictly personal level. It was a year of feeling tired and in over my head. A year of poor sleep. A year of more weight gain and sedentary lifestyle than ever before. Dan categorizes some of my clothing ensembles as "you look like you've given up on life" and last year I wore them a lot - oversized t-shirts and old pajama sweats mostly, usually paired with either wet or dirty hair pulled into a bun. It was year of being discontent about my body but choosing to pour my efforts into my children and my business instead of myself or my husband. It was a year of physical ailments and injuries, some unpreventable but some likely a manifestation of the lack of order. It was a year of never quite finding balance in any area of my life. Any. But pretending that I had it all together.
My birthday falls so close to New Years that I tend to think less of New Years Resolutions and more about what I want for myself in each new year of my life. So moving on from The Year of the Tired Hobo, on my 32nd birthday I've got a list of four things I want for myself. Just for me.
Feel Fantastic in my body. Fitness and weight loss goal cliches aside, this one's super personal. In the Fall, we joined a gym and I lost 18 pounds by the tried-and-true nutrition/exercise method. It wasn't about a number, it was about feeling like myself again. I got to where I was feeling pretty darn good in my own skin, but not totally where I wanted to be. Over the holidays I gained some back but I plan to start the year off strong and get back on the wagon. I'm pretty pumped about it. This line item also includes not being injured all the time. Being strong and protecting my back, and gaining coordination to help save me from some of my own clumsiness, so maybe, just maybe I won't sprain anything this year.
Marriage, THEN kids, THEN business. This one might be the most challenging for me, but I've got to include it and hold myself accountable to it. For my family.
Care more about my appearance. Not in a vanity kind of way; in a "I haven't given up on life" kind of way. More specifically: I'd like to: 1. Wear lipstick more often; 2. Do my hair once a week (especially since I've recently discovered a dry shampoo that I love) and not just on days when I might have my picture taken or see someone I want to impress; 3. Not wear sweats or pajamas past 3pm more than twice a week and; 4. Start wearing jewelry again, now that my children should be old enough not to rip it off of me and eat it.
Be more connected with girlfriends. Asking for and accepting help. Be the "reacher outer" from time to time instead of waiting for others to reach out to me for phone conversations and play dates or - gasp - kidless mom dates.
32 feels.... safe and peaceful. I was telling my sister today that thirty-two actually does feel older than thirty-one. I do feel older today than I did yesterday. And I feel so great about that.
images in this post: Melissa Young Photography
